Why Is It So Hard to Talk About Sex With Our Partner?

Let’s be honest: talking about sex with our partner isn’t always easy. But why? In many cases, it has to do with the social and cultural repression we’ve grown up with. We rarely talk openly about sexuality — and even less in the moment, when it truly matters.

In my work, I often see couples who never discuss what happens in bed. It’s surprising when you think about it: how can we share something as intimate as sex, but not talk about it?

Fortunately, things are slowly starting to shift. As more women begin to give themselves permission to enjoy, to connect with their own bodies and desires, new ways of expressing ourselves start to open up. This is part of a broader sexual wellness journey, where discovering what brings us pleasure becomes part of caring for ourselves.

But this doesn’t just affect women. I’ve spoken to many men who feel uncomfortable telling their male partners that they don’t want to engage in penetrative sex, for example. Others, when in relationships with women, often follow the same repetitive script — a focus on intercourse, without considering the many other ways to experience intimacy.

The idea of having a sexual encounter without penetration — something many women deeply enjoy — is still rarely explored. And yet, stepping outside the script can be a powerful way to connect, both emotionally and physically. Exploring adult wellness means opening ourselves to communication, curiosity, and new experiences — whether that’s trying affordable sex toys, shifting dynamics, or simply asking the question: What feels good to you?

True intimacy starts when we allow ourselves to speak, listen, and explore together. And yes, that includes talking — even (especially) in bed.